Hi! I’m starting this crazy journey where I actually share what I’m thinking with people I know and others that I don’t know but somehow I seem to trust. When I started writing this entry I took a deep breath and started wondering what was going through my mind recently and here it goes: How is it to love?
Deep one, huh? Love is the composing structure of life. It holds shit and non-shit together! And I don’t mean romantic love, I mean all kinds of love. Loving is an effortless extremely difficult process. Teaching another person to love you is an impossible task, believe me. It’s like we say here in my country: “¡Si le nace, le nace!”, which means that if someone feels like doing something for you, they will do it. There’s no middle point where they almost felt like doing it and finally didn’t do it or couldn’t do it.
Nevertheless, as I said, love is effortless. If you really want to feel love do me and yourself a favor: Close your eyes, sit still, focus on your breath and feel that whatever-something that surrounds us all. Feel it within the silence of your sacred space (room, corner of a room, or even just the space that holds the air that surrounds you) and recognize there is no rationality to this: love just exists and it’s everywhere.
Even if love is not something we can teach or learn, here goes a list of things you can do to take consciousness of the love that is always present. This list also applies to things you may want to do in order to love others and yourself better:
- If you are afraid you are not going to love, you are going to be afraid instead. When you create a bond with someone you’re creating a compromise to show them love in whatever way you agreed to express it. Only the relationships where you commit to show love in a way that is true to your nature is a true felt-hearted relationship. Now, if you are afraid, you WILL NOT be able to love someone truly because fear creates contraction and repression of your true feelings. Don’t do this to yourself or others, people deserve to know how you love them, why you love them and who you are.
- Be yourself, be yourself, be yourself, be yourself and finally be yourself… I sort of mentioned this in the last point because it is THAT important. If others don’t love you for who you truly are they are not worth your time. You came to this planet because you are the only person who is able to play the YOU part of the play. Do so.
- Accept and forgive. If we are talking about self-love here, accept you are human and you are bound to make mistakes. Accept that you’ve been through highs and lows and that sometimes life has taken a toll on you and on the way you interact with other people and yourself. You’ve most likely been wounded, hurt, lied, rejected, ignored and so much more! And all of this has brought you to patterns you wouldn’t want to live. And it is OK, we are free to welcome change but we first need to forgive. When it comes to loving others know that they are technically no aliens to life and that they have their own issues too! Accept them. Most importantly, sometimes you’ll have to forgive them even if they didn’t ask for your forgiveness.
- Know your limits. Limits are the Kale of the “fruit smoothie” of relationships. No but really. While writing this I feel tempted to yell at the top of my lungs: HEALTHY BOUNDARIIIEEEES!!! We can forgive, accept and care about others and still know our limits. Know yourself enough so that you know what you are willing to do for another person and what you’re not. Know what is no longer healthy for you, what is sustainable and what isn’t and honor that. You deserve as much as you are giving.
So how is it to love? What if we all feel it every day and we don’t even notice. Maybe we can start noticing more often if we commit to it.
What was like love for you today?